Before you add another thing to your To Do list, read this.
A framework for doing the things that will move you forward
What is the purpose of all those To Dos on your list?
Why are they on there?
Are they the things you should really be working on?
What do you really want?
For most (including myself) it’s a harder question to answer than it appears on the surface.
I want my business to grow, I want more clients, I want more money, I want more leisure time, I want more time with my family, I want longer vacations in more lavish accommodations. I want more, more, more. BUT, I don’t want to work so hard for all of these things. Why does it have to be so hard?
What’s the real answer to why you don’t have more, haven’t accomplished more, why your business isn’t as big as it could be, and why no matter how hard you work . . . you never seem to get there?
Let me tell you a quick story that changed how I approach my to do list.
I’ve spent the last few years in a period of massive self-transformation. I’ve spent more (in time and money) in the last few years on self-development courses, seminars, meditation, coaching, books, etc. than many will spend in a lifetime. Oh, and conferences, lots and lots of conferences. They help me “sharpen the saw”. In fact, I just got back from FunnelHacking LIVE (great conference!) and dammit, I realized my big takeaway from conferences, no matter what the purpose, is always the same!
Every time I head to a conference or seminar or whatever, my secret reason is this:
Go and learn something that will unlock the secret that tells me what to do to get the life of my dreams.
I’ve wanted the magical to do list.
It usually goes something like this: generate awareness, build a tribe, offer something of value, figure out how to get people to give me money for it, get rich, live the life of my dreams.
While attending, I take volumes and volumes of notes. And dammit! Every single time, I write in big bold letters somewhere in my notes SERVE.
And I do — to a point. But there’s always a point after I’ve developed something, offered it, and had a level of success with it where I get discouraged. I realize I still don’t have the fantasy of my life that I dreamed up once upon a time. I got caught in the minutiae of tasks and to dos, deadlines, client problems, problem clients, etcetera.
Which leads me to ask myself:
- What do I really want?
- How do I get it?
Now, I can’t pretend to know what YOUR answers to these questions are, but let me offer a framework to think about it. It’s called Fulfill to Fulfill, and it goes like this: Serve — Be — Do — Have.
The Fulfill-To-Fulfill framework
You may have run across the Be-Do-Have model before. It’s awesome! But for me, something was always missing. How do you just “be” the thing you want to achieve when you can’t help noticing there’s a gap between where you are and where you want to be? For me, I always went about ‘doing’ things to try to ‘be’ more.
And then I had an epiphany! The only way to ‘be’ more is to expand, in other words, to widen my very existence — and the way to widen my existence is to widen my impact. In other words, SERVE!
Have you ever really thought about the word fulfillment? It’s a sort of contronym, meaning the same exact word means its own opposite.
- In one sense, fulfillment is the meeting of an obligation. It’s outflowing. If you promise something, you must fulfill that promise outward. The value flows from you.
- In the opposite sense, it’s the attainment of something you desire. You want to fulfill your dreams of achieving everything on your dream board. The value flows to you.
But the order is important. You must fulfill your obligation to the universal law of give-get in order to fulfill your dreams. You must give value to receive value.
The Proof Of The Framework Is Everywhere
But I’m not just making this up, there’s proof all around you that this works.
Look around you. Who do you admire? Who do you want to model?
I challenge you to look beyond the insta-stars of today. Look at those who have withstood the test of time. Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, Walt Disney, Abraham Lincoln, Billy Graham, Tony Robbins, Gandhi. No matter who you choose, there was a common thread. They created impact at scale. They just gave, and gave, and gave. And it was the act of them giving that attracted people to them and made them titans. In other words, they fulfilled to others first. They served. They widened their impact beyond themselves, and in turn became the people we model today.
How To Use The Framework
Here’s how to apply the framework:
First, spend some time thinking about what you truly want, and why. Don’t overthink it, but try to uplevel it if all you’re coming up with is material possessions. Those are just indicators of something bigger. So what’s that bigger thing?
Next work through the Fulfill-to Fulfill framework.
- How will you SERVE (or share) more?
- What are ways that you can easily and readily give to others now that are aligned to what YOU truly want?
- Keep it simple. Once you start looking, there are all sorts of ways you can give.
2. What does ‘BEING’ more look like for you?
- This has everything to do with deciding what identity you really want.
- Who do you need to be to serve at the highest level?
3. What is required — what must you DO — for you to really serve more and be more?
- Document what’s required here. What’s the path to you fulfilling your mission, ideally in 3 -5 steps? Keep these brief. We simple humans tend to forget anything that must be counted on more than one hand.
- The reason it’s important to get these documented is that there will be challenges, setbacks, and failures. That’s natural. And for some, those trials will cause you to give up on your dream. DON’T. Remember the Fulfill-to-Fulfill principle, your purpose and how to get there. Learn and keep going.
4. And finally, what will it look like to HAVE it? Be specific. Picture it in full detail in your mind’s eye. Write out what an ideal day looks like. Do whatever you have to to make it real in your mind.
Work on this until it feels close. You’re going for direction, not perfection.
The Bottom Line
At FunnelHacking LIVE last week, I got to hear Tom Bilyeu speak (listen starting at 5:41) and he said something that has really stuck with me. He said we need to think like an AI. He was talking about how and WHY AIs learn how to win at chess.
Because it’s not wasting any time judging itself, it is asking one simple question, what is the path to success. That’s it.
It will keep making moves until it figures it out.
So my question for you is, how can you approach what you want — what you really want — like an AI? If you were an AI, what would be on that To Do list? And what wouldn’t be there?
